


We Were Meant to be Gods

by CherryMilkshake



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Sburb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 05:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3598692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryMilkshake/pseuds/CherryMilkshake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one knows what to do after the game, not really. All they can do is their best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Were Meant to be Gods

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KAE_Hael_Pinyin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KAE_Hael_Pinyin/gifts).



> Written for the prompt: "Something Dirk and Equius have in common are a fascination with robotics and a love of horses. I think it would be fun for Dirk to go to Equius seeking out more information about trolls and troll society, since he grew up in a broken off piece of troll society in the future and whatnot. Can be set in the bubbles or a post game thing. Dirk wants to know more about troll society, then wants to learn more about Equius, etc etc. (Maybe they bond over both having "failed" someone in their pasts -- Eq failing to protect Nepeta and Dirk failing Dave and Jake etc etc etc). For all of Dirk's bravado and all of Eq's strength, I think they would still be really tender and gentle lovers, both really careful about boundaries."
> 
> I hope I was able to capture a little bit of what you were looking for!

No one really knew what to expect after the game ended. So when the game spit them out on a planet that was not quite Earth and not quite Alternia, with repaired houses and bursting bank accounts, well, they just had to adapt. At least they were good at that by then.

In order to make sure all of the players finished the game together, the resident computer wizards had cracked open the game and fiddled. Somehow or another, it meant that the dead players came back too.

Alternate selves merged with the alpha timeline's, which led to some serious mental breakdowns for those who suddenly were filled with the memories of gruesome deaths. Good thing infinite money means the best therapists and the best drugs and the best addictions, at least until the memories could be compartmentalized and digested, written off as merely very realistic dreams. 

Still, they lingered in certain ways. Dave had a crippling fear of black dogs, Tavros couldn't deal with heights, Nepeta hissed at clowns, Aradia jumped at nearly everything that moved. For his part, Dirk had a habit of rubbing his throat, a tic that reminded him that he was intact and whole, the half-remembered pain of separation only a dream. 

The players grouped together—only they understood after all. So it didn't take long for anyone who didn't previously know each other to get acquainted. 

Dirk met Equius at one of those early get-togethers, only a few weeks after the end of the game. Equius was big and awkward, perched on a chair away from everyone else, sipping water from a colorful plastic cup. Dirk understood some of that awkwardness and crept over, taking the seat beside him. 

"Why the plastic?" he asked, holding up his own glass.

Equius swallowed, then pulled a handkerchief from his pocket to dab at his forehead. "I tend to… break glass," he explained. His voice was a deep bass, almost a hum, hard to hear over the music and burbling of conversation. 

Wasn't hard to believe, looking at how cracked his sunglasses were. "I assume accidentally," Dirk said, raising an eyebrow.

Equius nodded. "I am quite strong." He smiled a little, flashing broken teeth. But he quickly frowned again, looking at the gaggle of other partygoers. "Not strong enough when it mattered though." He reached up and rubbed his throat. Just a quick motion. Most people wouldn't have thought much of it. But Dirk noticed, mirrored the action.

"What happened?" he asked, lowering his hand. His voice came out so gentle that it surprised him.

Equius had noticed the tic too. "I apologize, I do not wish to discuss it so… publicly." He tilted his cup towards the others. Terezi, with ears as sharp as knives, was watching them, seeing eyes hidden behind blood red lenses. 

Dirk motioned toward the stairs. "Wanna get out of here then?"

Equius gave the group one last look, then nodded and followed Dirk up to the second level. They poked around Jane's house, stumbling upon Tavros and Aradia fast asleep on one of the guest beds, before they found an empty bedroom that Dirk was pretty sure wasn't Jane's. No _Problem Sleuth_ posters at least.

There was a fancy little couch with a high back and suspiciously uncomfortable-looking arms, covered in a satiny white fabric. Dirk perched on it uncertainly, holding his glass of wine well away from the stain waiting to happen. Equius sat beside him, moving very carefully for such a big guy. 

"So," Dirk said into the silence, his voice light. "We have the same death twitch."

Equius dabbed at his forehead. "I believe we do." Silence reigned once again.

Dirk gulped down the last of his wine and set the glass carefully on the floor. "I guess I'll go first. As part of a very clever, and successful, plan to get everyone into the game relatively intact, I teleported my head, and only my head, via a microwave-sized sendificator. Your turn."

Equius' handkerchief was beginning to tint a pale cobalt. "I…" He stopped, looking down at the dark blue carpet. Dirk followed his gaze, noticed the tension in his stance, the trembling in the big fingers wrapped around the cheery yellow plastic. With a sharp _snak_ , the cup cracked, water oozing out the sides. "Shoot!" Equius shouted, dropping the cup onto the floor. Dirk tried to twitch away from the splash, but that didn't save his jeans. Equius looked at him in alarm. "Dang it! I'm so sorry," he said quickly, looking down at his handkerchief as if wondering whether to offer it but putting it away after a moment. "Let me fetch you a towel." He strode out into the hallway, long legs making it a quick trip. 

When he came back, Dirk spotted Jane behind him, but she just smirked, waved, and went back down the hallway. Dirk wondered what she thought was going on, but didn't feel like turning his shades on and messaging her. 

Equius held out the towel, but Dirk knew it was a futile effort. Denim didn't dry with a towel. "I need to hang these up to dry," he said. "Would it be alright if we continued this another time? Or online. That might work too."

They exchanged handles. (Dirk raised an eyebrow as Equius said his aloud, which caused him to have to whip out the handkerchief again.)

That night, after the trolls had left and the kids had all crashed around Jane's house, Dirk got a message in sharp blue.

CT: D --> I want to apologize again for my atrocious behavior  
CT: D --> Also for not thanking you for sharing such  
CT: D --> Intimate  
CT: D --> Details about your death  
CT: D --> It was worthy of thanks  
CT: D --> I am sorry I did not return the favor  
TT: Don't worry about it. Death can be hard to talk about.  
TT: I certainly didn't tell you about the other death I remember.  
TT: Besides the god tier one. That was quick. Vaporized in an explosion.  
TT: As far as ways to die go, I recommend that one.  
CT: D --> I shall keep that in mind  
TT: Did you ever go god tier?  
CT: D --> Not that I can recall  
CT: D --> But there are many jumbled memories from my time in dream bubbles  
CT: D --> Perhaps there is one of godhood hidden there  
TT: Oh yeah, you trolls played for even longer than we did. And you actually played it right.  
CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> We defeated the Black King as we were supposed to  
CT: D --> But the events of the session prior to yours prevented us from completing it properly  
TT: That sucks.  
CT: D --> Yes it did  
CT: D --> We lived as fugitives when we were meant to be gods  
TT: ...  
TT: Not gonna lie, I don't know what to say to that.  
CT: D --> I apologize  
TT: No worries.  
TT: Any good bubble stories?

Equius told him about some of the antics of his friends in their near-infinite timelines. He wasn't much of a storyteller, but Dirk didn't mind. It was cool to hear about troll culture beyond the remnants that the Condesce had brought with her to Earth. It was clear that Equius had put a lot of stock in it, and wasn't quite sure yet what to make of this new world with new rules.

TT: So you and Nepeta are moirails in just about every universe, huh?  
CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> She is  
CT: D --> Good for me  
CT: D --> But do not tell her that  
CT: D --> She would be insufferably smug  
TT: Got it.   
TT: Mind if I ask you something?  
CT: D --> Ask and I will or will not answer  
TT: Are all quadrants equally important? Like, if your matesprit, your moirail, your kismesis, and your auspices were all dangling off a cliff and you could only save one, which one would you save?  
TT: I guess the auspices would have to be two.  
TT: But you understand the question.  
CT: D --> It depends on the troll  
CT: D --> I don't know if there is a cultural answer  
CT: D --> Perhaps whichever concupiscent partner you have the STRONGest relationship with?  
CT: D --> But for me  
CT: D --> I would save my moirail  
CT: D --> Because I was unable to do so before  
CT: D --> I was too weak  
TT: Big guy like you? Were you soloing an ogre?  
CT: D --> No  
CT: D --> I was not weak physically  
CT: D --> Obviously I am very STRONG  
CT: D --> But I followed orders I should have ignored  
CT: D --> Orders that I understood the consequences of

Dirk hesitated. This was suddenly in really dark territory. 

TT: My friends died while I was zapped to the Furthest Ring, desperately trying to get back to them.  
TT: I couldn't do anything.  
CT: D --> I am sorry  
TT: Is your  
TT: Well, I call them death twitches but  
TT: Is it from that time?  
CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> I was  
CT: D --> Choked  
CT: D --> With my own bow  
CT: D --> ½bow  
TT: Yikes.  
CT: D --> Quite  
CT: D --> I have to go  
CT: D --> To sleep I mean  
CT: D --> Could we talk tomorrow?  
TT: Of course. Sleep tight.  
CT: D --> You too

Dirk took off his shades, reaching up to rub his eyes with one hand. "Holy shit," he breathed. He was pretty nonchalant about his own deaths, they were either badass or hilariously pathetic, but that was some fucking Nazi shit. Or at least that was the impression he was getting. 

He messaged Roxy. 

TT: Hey, you have the handle for that cat troll, right? Equius's moirail?  
TG: maby i do  
TG: shes gr8  
TG: y?  
TG: aslo its like 2 in eth mrning  
TG: y r u awake?  
TT: It's only 2 in the morning. And I want to talk to her.  
TG: fine  
TG: dont be a crepe  
TG: *creep omg  
TG: its arsenicCatnip  
TT: Thanks.

He messaged her right away.

TT: Hey, I'm a new friend, sort of?, of Equius. I'm Dirk, Roxy's friend. The one with the shades.  
TT: Um, could we talk about something?  
AC: :33 < *ac purrs and wakes up, paws at tt curiously* hello dirk!   
TT: *TT scratches AC behind the ears* Can you tell me a little bit more about Equius? We've talked about deep shit, but I don't know what topics would be safe for future conversations.  
AC: :33 < *ac mews excitedly* he n33ds new furends! i'm glad it's one of you mewmans   
AC: :33 < *ac asks tt what kind of things he means*  
TT: *TT holds his chin in thought* Hobbies? Interests?  
AC: :33 < *ac leaps up!* he likes hoofbeasts and art and robots  
TT: No shit? Me too. To like, all of those things.  
AC: :33c < *ac purrs* roxy told me that you two might get along  
AC: :33 < we were actually planning on having you two m33t next party  
AC: :OO < but you met first!  
AC: :33c < fate maybe?  
TT: Maybe. Are we done RPing?  
AC: :33 < *ac grins a very cat-like grin* only if you want to be  
TT: *TT shrugs* I've got nothing to do and I don't want to sleep.  
AC: :33 < *ac smiles and opens up her rp logs for ideas of what to play*

The next day, after Dirk was sure that Equius would be awake and long enough since their last conversation that he hoped he wouldn't seem over eager, he messaged Equius. 

TT: I talked to Nepeta. She's really cool.  
CT: D --> What did you talk about?  
TT: A little about you, but mostly we started an RP about a cat and horse tea party that's actually a cover for their being international spies. It's pretty awesome.  
CT: D --> Your character is a hoofbeast?  
TT: Well, a centaur. Talking horses are just silly.  
CT: D --> She must have told you much about me  
TT: Nah, just that you liked horses, art, and robots. So centaurs, huh?  
CT: D -->   
CT: D --> Yes  
TT: Oh, are we talking about more than an aesthetic appreciation of that one?  
CT: D -->   
CT: D -->  
CT: D --> Maybe  
CT: D --> Are you?  
TT: No, no. You're not allowed to gauge my response before you answer. I don't want what you think I want to hear.  
CT: D --> Then  
CT: D --> Yes  
TT: Cool. Me too. Surprisingly small erotic niche, I have to say. Kind of disappointing.  
CT: D --> I could  
CT: D --> Share some of my collection with you  
CT: D -->  
CT: D --> You mentioned robots?  
TT: Smooth topic change. You're a regular politician with evasion like that.  
TT: But yes. I build robots. We should talk shop some time.  
CT: D --> What do you build normally?  
TT: Rap bots.  
CT: D --> Rap bots?  
TT: Robots that I can rap with. It's pretty fun.  
CT: D --> I am unsure what you are referring to  
CT: D --> Give me one moment on Troogle  
CT: D --> Oh  
CT: D --> You mean slam poetry  
TT: Kind of? Are they synonymous in Alternian?  
CT: D --> I think so  
TT: What about you?  
CT: D --> I build sparring robots  
TT: No shit?  
CT: D --> What 100d language  
TT: Oops, sorry. Nepeta told me you didn't like swearing.  
TT: Is there a reason?  
CT: D --> It's improper  
TT: So it's okay in a proper context? Like if you locked your keys in your house, or you walked into a trash can, or accidentally stepped on a nail.  
CT: D --> If  
CT: D --> If it is in its proper context  
CT: D --> I suppose it is  
CT: D --> More acceptable  
TT: Got it.  
TT: So, about those sparring bots…

They ended up talking shop for nearly three hours, trying to bridge some of the technological gaps between Earth and Alternia, as well as this strange new world. 

*** 

It didn't take long for it to spiral into a joint project, a bot they could spar together, designed to challenge both of their styles. 

The first time they got into an argument over it, Equius took a swing at Dirk, without thinking. His face as his arm swung towards Dirk was horrified, but Dirk easily dodged it. Equius sighed in relief. "Gonna take more than that to hit me," Dirk said easily. "You telegraph like crazy." He grabbed a controller off the table and turned on one of the sparring bots. "Want to to work it off?" 

Equius grinned and cracked his knuckles as the bot's eyes flickered on. 

*** 

The bot took the first real match. Dirk and Equius fist bumped, Equius being carefully gentle. 

Dirk put his hands in his pockets, surveying the massive sparring bot, with its gleaming horns and glowing blue joints. (Equius had refused to make them orange. Little did he know that Dirk had put a switch in it to make it possible to change the LEDs. He was gonna set it to rainbow mode at some point and see the big troll's reaction. Possibly record it. For science.) 

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Equius doing the same, looking at their work with undisguised pride, glasses shoved up on his head, sweat gleaming across his forehead. 

"Hey," Dirk said, with all the seriousness of a man facing down the guillotine. "Can I ask you something?" 

Equius turned to look at him, reaching up to put his sunglasses back on. "Of course. What is it?" 

"That troll girl you liked. Do you still…?" 

Equius ground his teeth. Dirk thought he heard one of them crack. "No. That was. That was a mistake. My fault." He fumbled in his pocket for a handkerchief, forgetting that he was in sparring clothes. Dirk grabbed the work towel off the bench and handed it over. 

Equius wiped his face. "Thank you. But, to answer your question, no. Some part of me will always be… attracted to her, I suppose. But, no." 

"That's a lot of no's," Dirk said mildly. His courage was dwindling. What he wouldn't give for a shot of whiskey. "Sounds like you're protesting a bit _too_ much." 

"Shoot," Equius muttered into the towel. "That was not my intention." The tips of his ears, just peeking out of the fall of his hair, were bright blue. Dirk's courage rose just a little bit. 

Just enough. 

He took the towel back, looking up at Equius's confused face before he stood on tiptoe and kissed him. 

Then he drew back, holding out the towel, a question he didn't know how to put into words hovering on his tongue. 

Equius threw the cloth aside and picked Dirk up, bringing their faces closer together. Dirk smiled and pushed Equius's shades up, followed by his own. 

They wouldn't talk about a relationship for a long time. They wouldn't talk about anything at all. 

But for the moment, this moment, it was perfect. 


End file.
